This was NOT in the contract...
Hey folks -
Last Sunday I was, indeed, Santa Claus for an afternoon. A private English tutoring company (with locations throughout Japan) was holding their annual Christmas party and listed me as a special guest. It is traditional for the local public schools to introduce their ALTs to the owners of these tutoring centers; much like the Junior High Schools, having an ALT in the classroom does a lot to beef up their lessons. So I met and had lunch with the owner of one of the tutoring centers in October. It was then that she asked me to attend the Christmas party. It was only recently that I learned I would do more than sip soda and sing 'Frosty the Snowman.'
(Please take a moment to look at the photo above once more for effect.)
(Thank you.)
The persona I adopted did not resemble my Uncles Bill, Bob, or Jack whose portrayal of St. Nicholas rivaled the real deal -- it was more in tune with Billy Bob Thornton's version.
After a few rounds of "Hey there, little fella! Merry Christmas!" and having not one, but all of the wonderful tykes attempt to remove my "beard," I was brought immediately to the checkers scene in 'Bad Santa.' Enough said...
But truthfully, it was a fun day; especially during 'Santa Says!' This was a marginally sadistic rendition of 'Simon Says' where Santa (that's me, if you recall) gets to spend about 25 minutes inside an extremely warm suit and beard trying to outwit 5 year olds. A real confidence booster, let me tell you.
After I dropped the 14th pound and finally got the last kid out, I looked over at the host, Y sensei -- my eyes projecting, "Mercy?" It's possible there was a slight miscommunication because for some reason I heard, "Let's play again!"
Mommmmmmmmm!!!!!
The amount of weight I lost was testimony to how smart those kids were...
But that was the worst of it (^-^)b
The actual party and activities were great. There were snowball fights (crumbled up paper) and sing-a-longs to name a couple. I was so impressed by how well the kids were speaking and the confidence they showed while introducing themselves. The teachers did a great job -- it's no wonder their classes are so popular.
My only moment of true panic was when I noted (in very small print, mind you) that Brendan sensei would be singing 'Last Christmas' for everyone! You all know this tune, right? George Michael's 1980s ditty? Well, as soon as I saw that, my voice started to go mysteriously out of tune during 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,' ala Peter Brady. What was even stranger is that (as a life long musician) I was somehow unable to find the right key for the rest of the songs featured that afternoon. Y sensei, as eloquently as possible (and perhaps mercifully so) ended the party without forcing the audience to endure what would have undoubtedly been a 'memorable' experience.
Now Mr. Michael won't have to sue!
I will take this opportunity to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and a safe and kickin' New Year!
Keep surfing!
Brendan
